bonjour Then

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

happy birthday Canada

Anxiety is the space between the "now" and the "then"

Wilhelm Stekel Austrian psychoanalyst, 1868-1940

and oh Mama can pack a lot of miles in between the now & the then. Much worry, fret, and fear- it's all about that big blank space that undetermined and seemingly endless distance. I better fill it up as best as I know how. It's all about anticipation, when then actually arrives the storm clouds have blown away, the sky becomes clear and the waters
are calm and still. Exhausted from running all that distance between now and then, all while doing mental jumping jacks, hand stands and other death defying imaginary feats I feel embarrassed and confused when I finally arrive at then. I drift around on my raft of calm seas and wonder where did that monster go. I know it was here. I just saw it and trust me it was scary.

It hasn't gone away completely but that gentle gnawing feeling in my stomach, that catch in my throat, the shortness of breath - that's nothin' compared to the full on version and I know that the instant MLou & her Gang arrive these lasting remnants of anxiety will be gone - it will all magically disappear.

We're at our destination, we've arrived at then - only lots of goodness from here on in. MLou, L & Missy J (terrier gal pal of Miss D's) will arrive around noon (which gives Mama plus de hours to do the many last minute things I always have left to do). That girl likes old fashioned sugar donuts so I'll make another batch of these tres simple & easy Baked Donuts (I prepared the dough last night). I feel happy and excited now because my favourite people in the whole wide world are coming today. We'll make our flooring installation plan, we'll take in a few of the July 1st festivities, a little carnival food perhaps, we'll watch men in kilts throw big, heavy things for trophies and we'll listen to bagpipe music which always makes me cry. We'll stick little paper Canadian flags on sticks in our pockets and we'll feel proud to be Canadian 'cause we live in an amazing place - know best for our famous winters, our wide open spaces and rugged unspoiled nature but best of all - we're known for our tolerance.

It's raining this early morning - I wonder ... maybe it will rain tonight and cancel the fireworks - shhhhh - I sure hope so.

Hello Then - I'm so glad you're finally here and Hey ! Happy Canada Day !


  1. Happy Canada Day.

    Thank goodness for Tolerance.

  2. Happy Canada Day, Susan. I hope you show us some photos of the festivities.

  3. happy canada day to you as well! my hubbie is canadian. you've inspired me to do something special for him tonight to celebrate.

    glad you've arrived at then and hope you have a wonderful time over this long weekend!!!

  4. Happy Canada Day to you and your lovely friends (and the ones with fur, too). Have a great day! YAY CANADA!!!!!!

  5. Happy Canada Day, dear Susan! You brought a smile of peace and contentment to my face today when I read your post! And I breathed a deep sigh of relief that order is at this moment being restored to your soul. You are so loved out here in the blogosphere! Here's to a safe and productive working 'holiday'!

  6. Happy Canada Day! Our fireworks are Saturday. I actually look forward to dragging our lawn chairs up to the road for a dazzling show.

  7. Aha! You feel the same about fireworks as I do!

  8. Hi Susan,
    I came via "The Bearest Bookcase". I often read your blog. I never leave a comment and felt that this time I should, to let you know how much I enjoy reading about your life in that lovely house in a beatiful part of the world. I lived in Calgary and now reside in Portugal. After one year I still miss all that's Canadian.
    Hugs ... Maria

  9. Good evening, sweet sweet Susan.

    ((humming 'O Canada' to you)) =)

    Hope your day turned out beautiful. This was a good post. One line stood out to me above everything...

    "it's all about that big blank space that undetermined and seemingly endless distance. I better fill it up as best as I know how"

    Much love to you and the furry gang. xo

  10. Thought of you that day. how wonderful is not only Canada but are Canadians too.


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