a new leaf

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Oliver hanging out in his cave of fabric

vervour an exaggerated version of ...

- meaning great warmth and earnestness of feeling.

The sweetest cat there ever was, and I've known and loved a lot of sweet cats - soft and affectionate, curious and enthusiastic to the Nth degree, with an exceptional zest for life - that's my Ver or Oliver. He does love a cave, and loves at night to be tucked in under the covers with me. Smile.

I watched Oprah yesterday, a show that combined the philosophy of The Secret with the opinions and writings of Louise Hay famous for the, life changing to many, book You Can Change Your Life and Oprah's new book pick by Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth.

The theme of the show - the power of positive thinking. I think it was serendipitous that I watched this show yesterday because it made me realize that I have been having moments, I do believe, that I am wallowing in the pit of sadness left by the loss of my soul mate dog Jake. I know it's only been a few weeks (2 actually, tomorrow). This show made me realize, that perhaps it would be much more honouring of his amazing soul, to not be so sad and grief stricken. To not feel continually haunted by the few horrible moments from those last days, but instead, to really rejoice in all the hundreds, thousands, possibly millions of amazing moments and memories of an incredible dog. A dog who was most definitely meant to be in my life (near his first birthday, I became his third and final home). My best and most excellent friend for over 12 years.

It's amazing to be reminded that we do have power over our thoughts and feelings. We have a choice of how we want to feel. If you're a thinker (and I am desperately so - my mind chatters away to itself non stop all the live long day ... and often night) it's so easy to get swept away in the raging river that's going on in your head, it's such a relief to remember that you can just touch your feet to the bottom of the river bed and walk on out of there ... I don't want to feel sad, I know that. And I know, for sure, that he wouldn't want me to be sad.

So ... this morning I am pushing those aching thoughts away and out the door, of my ever busy mind and replacing them with memories & thoughts instead, of my hero dog. Incredibly kind and gentle, goofy and silly, very, very handsome, athletic and always hungry Noodle.


  1. I don't believe in fate, but sometimes it's difficult to explain those serendipitous moments that come along just when you need them most. It's happened to me several times, but the most memorable was being flat on my back in agony for two days after my back went out and catching Vicky Gabereau's show where she interviewed a back expert. What he said (don't just lie there...get up and move around!) got me up and moving and the next day, like magic, my back stopped hurting.

    I know your pain won't vanish suddenly like mine did, but it's good to know you're on the mend.

    And if you'll allow me, I'd like to recommend a book you might find helpful, interesting and inspiring: "Man's Search for Meaning," by Dr. Viktor Frankl. It's one of those life-changing books. Everyone I've loaned it to has returned it, slightly awed, and very grateful. It will reinforce what you've come to realize...that the one thing nothing and no one can ever take away from you is the freedom to choose how you will feel in any given situation.

  2. My friend watched that show yesterday. I wish I had seen it. I do subscribe to the philosophy of the secret for the most part. You might enjoy receiving daily "messages from the universe" from tut. You register at tut.com then receive a daily message through email-sometimes funny, always inspiring and uplifting, and reminding you you are in control of your life and your feelings. Mike Dooley runs that company and does talks all over the world and makes inspirational/motivational cd's also based upon the concepts of the secret and making your own future. I have a couple of big, unfortunate and unpleasant things going on in my life right now, and some days that message in the morning just turns my day around and gets me back into the positive thinking mode. Anyway, keep up the good thinking.

  3. I once saw an Oprah show where she interviewed a young(ish) woman who had been set on fire by her boyfriend. She had 3rd degree burns over 90% of her body. She said that she allows herself 5 minutes everyday to feel sorry for herself, then she forces herself to think positively. I realize this is different than losing someone, but perhaps this could help.

  4. It's been a really busy week here ... am just finishing up final production drawings for my first project with the new big-fish gift ware company - a line of jewellery. Busy is good and busy certainly helps the wandering mind.

    Thank you, so much Patti and Anya for the recommendations (the book and tut.com) and I also saw that woman on Oprah Mary D. and she was truly amazing. I think it's about retraining your brain and your way of thinking.

    Dogs live in the moment and they are by nature happy souls ... I know that Jake would not want me to dwell on missing him. I feel now, like I'm in a phase of disbelief. I think when you're in the moment caring for someone who is ill and dying your brain becomes fuzzy, a bit, to protect yourself and so you can cope with the job at hand. When the dust has settled, you're left with this feeling of "How did I get here to this place, how did this happen and disbelief that he's just suddenly gone ?"


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