it's raining

Monday, August 25, 2008

peony pinks, lime green and a sweet Noodle dog in a favourite frame of my design

It's so curious: one can resist tears and behave very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window... or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed... or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses.


I felt like I wanted and needed a big splash of colour this early Monday morning. An archives photo, from earlier this summer when the peonies were still in all their glory.

It's pouring rain outside these wide open windows. Miss D. is snoring here on her bed in my office. It's ink black and still outside. We've had three days of spectacular sunny, hot summer weather - a little rain is good.

Coffee and bubbles with Mint, Rosemary & Orange. We'll walk in the village this morning Miss Winn and I and later, after lunch, we'll drive to the beach when the tide is low. A stop at the post office and then we'll have our long, long walk out on rippled tide flats, just Winn & I. It's the hard thing about sadness, keeping it under wraps, keeping it tucked away in a blanket inside. I can't do it and I suffer trying. I understand that often friends and family don't want or don't know how to deal with sadness, and that's OK, but right now it's a part of me ... it's with me all the time, hiding just under the surface. I never know when it will come out ... so for now it's much safer for us, Winn & I, with Ache & Sadness trailing behind us like shadows, to enjoy our walks alone.

It's so nice that many of you see hope in my photographs ... as hope is what I would want you to see. Many thanks for the comments.


  1. The Colette quote is so true. So often it's the tender gestures and kind words that are the most difficult for me to handle when I'm sad. They shatter the very fragile defenses I put up to protect myself. What I'm learning, and what you have already embraced, is that it's okay to feel sad, and it's okay to show it.

  2. We enjoyed a much needed thunderstorm last evening, too. Skies are slowly starting to clear this morning.

    Wonderful peonies. Yes, hope is there. And you designed the frame? Gorgeous!!

  3. I love that quote from Colette. I often cry more easily at kindness than sorrow.

    Best wishes for you and Winnie on your quiet, restorative walk today.
    From Edward, Apple and me.

  4. It's cloudy and muggy here this morning. Any where else, that might mean rain, but it will be hot and sunny by this afternoon.
    I know how you feel. I've been keeping company with a lot of negative emotions lately, and people can be hard to deal with when you feel like every interaction is forced.
    Beautiful colors and a lovely frame around a sweet, sweet face.

  5. Susan, take care.Everything you do is beautiful.I don't think you can force healing. It takes its own time.What a sweet helper you have in Winnie.


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