little signs

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

detail from Flute Meditation - Michael Parks

This card depicting the love felt between an animal and a human arrived in the mail yesterday with a parcel of goodies. A card that reminded me (not that I needed to be reminded) of my big red boy Jake. An image that speaks to me about feelings of trust, security, comfort and love. Reminding me of these warm coloured images I linked to yesterday - the same day this card arrived. The card was from MLou (very best friend and designer also) and she received this card from J. (very best blog friend and regular commenter). So ... it felt to me like I was receiving wishes and comfort from two completely different directions yesterday (one from way down south and the other from not far away at all). And specific wishes arriving in a kind of unintentional, slightly haphazard and completely serendipitous way - it's amazing to me how the people in my life have become very intertwined - people who barely know each other, yet we keep crossing each others paths and always at the most perfect moment.

Yesterday while scrolling through my bookmarks searching for a blog with a particularly lovely line drawn banner, for inspiration for a drawing that I was working on, I came across this previously bookmarked site. Big Sigh. Sigh is all I can say really. A big part of me yearns for exactly this - a tiny new bundle of male golden red fur to nurture and love from baby to adult. A mini you-know-you. Or reasonable facsimile. The other part of me does not believe in paying for a dog from a breeder when SO many wonderful dogs need homes. I have filled out applications at three Canadian Golden rescue organizations (Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes) and I'm hoping another Golden who needs a forever home will find us. Or maybe just another dog who needs a home (all mixtures & pedigrees accepted) will find us.

Winnie's been so silly in the mornings with baby Duke at the beach. Carol's new dog. Silly like I haven't seen her in a very long time. She plays and plays and plays with him. Letting him jump up and mouth her face and then she runs and spins and shows off her extremely fancy and oh so agile footwork. It's so funny to watch. Seeing her play with him makes my heart burst. I must take some action photos soon. The two of them together are just a scream. And both Carol and I are quite surprised at how happy Winnie is to play with Duke- how totally silly and goofy she becomes. After all Winnie is 9 and she can be such a serious dog. I think she spies a little Noodle dog in there. She really seems to love little baby Duke, who just turned 12 weeks Monday.

I can't remember how or why exactly that I came to this (just another one of my things) but I've decided that black feathers, are messages from my boy Jake. Little hellos, little signs that he's OK . He misses us too, but that he's fine, he's fetching sticks somewhere, maybe up at some lake on God's retriever team - he's happy. And of course since realizing that black feathers were to be paid attention to, I've been finding black feathers (and they're not at all common) in my travels and always at just the right times, when I need them the most and most often lying just off my beaten path. Which makes it even more amazing when I spy one. Last night Winnie and I walked up our street, back home again, after an early evening walk along the harbour. We just were about to pass the large pine tree in our front yard and a sound, a bird call made my head swing suddenly to the left and there on the ground below our big pine tree was a large black feather. Hey there handsome.

Summer's disappeared for a bit. The sky remains grey and stormy, clouds are whipping across the sky chased by a strong breeze coming from the water and there' s a chill in the air that feels like fall. I noticed it last night for the first time. Something cellular in me loves fall, loves that crispness in the air, that smell and even that brief waft of autumn feeling that washed over us as we sat on the beach last night, Winnie Dixon and I, staring out into the harbour. Just me and my girl ... made me feel good.


  1. Good morning, Susan. Your blog was refreshing this morning, and al always, touching. Every day, I feel like I learn something new about you! :) And I really love the fact that I always feel like I'm there, right beside you, in your journey of life. I feel like I've had a personal invitation to step in your world and walk with you, as a dear friend. I'm grateful for that. Your daily writings lift me up...yes, they do. I find hope in between the sadness you are feeling. I find dreams in the hope. Thank you.

    Much love!

  2. Morning Susan....I love the painting of the woman and lion. It was especially interesting this morning, your linking lions and dogs, even in a round about way in your writing in light of a news story I read just moments before I clicked over here to visit. In Colorado this week, a couple had their french doors opened and a mountain lion crept into their bedroom and stole their 12 year yellow lab right under their noses. When the woman roused, saw the shocking sight and screamed, the lion fled and dropped the dog outside the door, but the sweet pup was already gone. How heart breaking and horrifying for them. A mountain lion in the house! I'm going to have to watch my doors. I've been worrying about a hungry bear wandering in but a lion would be worse. Problem is in summer, I have to throw open all the doors and windows. Not for coolness, but to feel close to nature every minute of the day. Up here in the high mountains you've gotta squeeze every glorious minute possible out of a short summer.

    Winnie may be telling you your home is ready for a sweet new family member. If a puppy is what enlivens her, and you are dreaming of nuzzling a soft, squirming puppy, a puppy may be what is needed. I have been considering the pros and cons of getting a pup a lot lately because I am craving pup love. Being alone now it isn't really a good time, logistically. But I have a little day dream that a pup will just wander up my lane and present himself and I'll know he's the one. Or perhaps I'll find a little one abandoned along the road and will really have no choice at all but to bring him home.

    So many things to comment on today! I have that same feather thing you do. For me they are a sign from the universe and black ones are especially meaningful. Last week as I stepped out the door to the terrace, I looked down and there under my foot was a huge black crow's feather. Just inches from the door, I really can't figure out how it was lost there right next to the house without the crow bashing into the door. I keep all my found feathers on the coffee table stuck in a sea ball.
    I'm not always as clear as you are about the meaning of each feather.

    Well, girl, have a lovely day today and enjoy your little whiff of autumn.

  3. Oh my, that puppy's face! Sigh, is right, the only response. I will pray that a rescue golden face will find you, Susan. You, and Winnie.

    The Michael Parks painting, of course, reminded me of Edward, just like it reminded you of Jake! Edward often puts his big head on my leg when we're sitting in the floor. Nothing better. I'll sit there till my leg falls asleep, just to feel the weight of his furry head.

  4. Duke has SUCH a sweet face, and it's good that Winn gets along with him so well. I've known dogs that get really protective and territorial as they get older.
    I love the fall too. The slight chill in the air and the smell of fallen leaves are related to some very good childhood memories. It's another thing I miss living in near-perpetual sunshine.

  5. Alex I'm so happy that you can see hope between the sadness and dreams in that hope because I do believe that both are there - as big as ever. They're just clouded at times by my huge missing him.

    Bonjour Miss Anya, first let me say I am unable to reply to your emails (very frustrating) they always bounce back saying that there is a problem at your end - I just wouldn't want you to think I'm not replying. Do you have a hotmail address by chance ?

    That mountain lion must have been very hungry to do something so brazen and brave. Now the humans will find him/her and kill it as if that's the answer ? arrrggghh ! Don't get me wrong I would feel sick if a mountain lion made off with one of my pets but I do not believe in revenge killing. It's because of human encroachment in "their" habitat that these things continue to happen. And I just decided on my own (homemade symbolism) that black feathers are hello's from my boy.

    Thank you Pam for your Golden prayer. Winnie & I are praying for the same thing. I remember when Jake was very young and new to this home. If I would lie on the sofa stretched out watching TV he would always want to lie with me, on top of me, spread out also the length of the sofa all 73 lbs of him. And of course - that was always totally fine by me. He was a big, perfect, affectionate, red lug - my Jake.

  6. Susan, I just received your lovely little package of sea treasures today. The pale, subtle colors of the glass and the perfect, tiny shells. Beautiful... thank you!

  7. Hello Susan. I love it when big heavy dogs sit right on my foot. They have the whole room, but that's where they choose.I have always seem birds as omens.When I am particularly troubled one will always come very close, close enough for me to think "that's strange..", and then it will chortle wildly, and somehow I feel comforted.We may have to shift soon.Things are unsettling, and after returning some paperwork to town, a piping shrike greeted me on my gate,very tame and most unusual- direct gaze, lots of noise.Can only be good.Our Indigenous people see the willy-wagtail bird as a messenger.These dear little birds were everywhere once, but no so much anymore.

  8. Just stopping by again to say have been on my mind tonight...hope you had a good day.

  9. Susan, you always spin words into magic and lift my spirit in a way that not many can.
    Duke has the sweetest face. Your precious girl is readying herself for a new playmate. It will happen when the time is right for you all.
    Autumn will be here soon...I can smell it, almost taste it. I long for it.


  10. baby duke is adorable and i love his name!


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