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Wednesday, December 15, 2010


photo love - Victor Eredel via Design Crush - love, love, love

hope + love
gratitude + kindness
a pinch of courage

I struggle, many of us struggle ...

to feel valued - to sum it up in one word
to feel brave*, to feel important, to feel worthy, to feel loved ... needed, talented ...

As a self employed designer this has been a tough year. All my working eggs were in one big basket (unfortunately), that basket spilled early in 2010, my biggest customer, fan and advocate retired from the biz. Since then I have had to build my tiny self employed existence almost from the ground up again. New & fresh. I've had to try to find new customers, find fresh opportunities, figure out who I am as a designer/illustrator and what do I really want to do ?? what I am good at ? what am I best at ?? and ultimately ... can I make a living ?

Hard times teach us. Good times not so much. My go to emotion (thinking, feeling) seems to always be fear. It's never little fear, it's that 0-60 in a blink, big and bad as fear can be. I plaster my inner thoughts with nevers and can'ts, wont's and oh ohs! I forget how to stop it !! I wonder have I ever know how ? You can't change something until you become aware of it ... until you understand it. It, I've come to realize, is a constantly moving target. Sighing.

I wake each brand new morning with big hope + love in spades and coffee while still tucked in bed. I begin to plan each new day with gratitude for everything that I do have ... 'cause I sure do have a lot! I try and head out into the world with kindness, give out what you yourself would like to receive - my mantra & I always carry with me - a big ol' pinch of courage, 'cause I need it.

* if you also struggle to be brave
watch this

Uh Huh !! Uh Huh !!! les one wall, super duper WOW !! entertainment centre awaits paint.



the Prince of All Things Good has outdone himself - yet again !

9 comments:

  1. you would love those photos...they mirror your aesthetic. i bought a painting from an artist that everyone thinks i painted. when i say i didnt paint that, they say well you could have, and then i say but i ididnt. make sense?

    eggs in a basket. well i understand. i sell art, i do business blogs, i write and design business constant contact email blasts, and i make movies for the chamber of commerce tourism board. anything creative im up for. in this new world -and understand-this is going to be the new normal - i am the creative jack of all trades. recently, i got a great gig photographing jewelry for a company in NYC. never saw that coming but i dumb lucked into by bidding on another job i wasnt qualified for (if you look at a resume -which i dont even have anymore)

    dont worry. just keep chuggin away on the CE and

    WOW


    nice entertainment center. man that cowboy is good.

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  2. btw, nice touch adding the "29" to the google header

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  3. hey ! chickory, it is the silver lining to all of this, and there always is a silver lining. I'm not putting all the eggs in one basket anymore ... in fact I'm discovering new baskets all the time. I just have days, too many days, that I feel like I'm spinnin' my wheels, and not getting any traction ... feeling like I'm not moving ahead at all - but I am slowly, slowly.

    I'd love to know some of the places that you look if you'd care to share them. Like the jewelery photo gig. Wow that's fantastic. Being a Creative Jack's a good thing I think.

    still swoonin' and trying not to worry. ps I'm sure my genuis nephew added the 29 to the Google header - he just takes care of stuff like that.

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  4. So very beautiful indeed!
    Tail wags.

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  5. Victor Eredel - stunning!

    That cowboy has done a great job.

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  6. That built-in is AH-mazing!! And not a pinch of courage, a POUND of courage, a TON of courage. It has been a challenging year, hasn't it?

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  7. The fear thing is hard to deal with sometimes. I think most people have it to certain degrees...some of us more than most. I truly believe that if you stay true to your heart & soul that things will work out.
    That entertainment unit is absolutely beautiful! Too bad you & the Cowboy don't live closer...I'd commission some projects around here!

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  8. Oh, that build-out brings me back to my childhood. My father made these in almost every room. So practical and so beautifully done (both my father's and yours).

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  9. OMG! Doug: you walk on water in MY book! Out-FREAKIN'-STANDING!!!!! Woohoo!!!!! Simply WONDERFUL!!!

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