sadness & wandering

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

and why would I ever want to live anywhere else?

I'm writing this Tuesday afternoon (for posting early Wed. morning). I feel sad today and have felt this way since I woke up. No specific reason sadness ... just that "I hope nothing bad happens today because I don't think I can handle it" kind of sadness. Am on a big deadline, drawing thumbnails, and with this job it's like spinning that giant wheel of fortune - in that if they don't like my thumbnails - no money ... it's way too much pressure today or feels like way too much pressure. I need to relax for the creative juices to properly flow. It's raining, quite hard, or I'd take les chiens for a walk. I just want to eat homemade chicken noodle soup and curl up under my down duvet with sweet Oliver and turn my bed into a nest. But I won't do that, I'll continue to sit at my desk, mechanical pencil with 3mm HB lead in hand, listening to Gian Ghomeshi on the radio and to Winnie Dixon snoring softly in her bed under my desk, while Jake turns the air in my office blue with his silent but deadly salt-water-farts ... forcing me to smile a little.

My mind wanders great distances on a day like today. You know how one thing makes you think of something and that thing leads you to think about something else and so on. Last night while watching The Center of the World - Part 8 of Ric Burns' PBS documentary on NYC and the history of the World Trade Center, a man being interviewed was talking about the air space over Canada & the US being closed after the attacks. 100,000 planes were flying in that air space and told to land. Amazing ... when you sit in your seat on a airplane blithely looking out that small window...out into fluffy white clouds or way, way down onto the crazy quilt landscape of land and rivers and oceans I never, thankfully, think about air traffic and how much there is. Traffic in the air... I wonder about traffic in the ocean ... so I googled ship traffic oceans and came to this site which has a map of the world and all it's oceans and a small dot for every registered ship/boat. Unbelievable! Just one fascinating, wandering trip that occurred in my head yesterday.

It's Wednesday morning. I'm just listening to the last sputters of my coffee maker. Sweet Oliver is perched here beside me. It's 4am, I wasn't sleeping well and there's always lots to do so I'm up. More productivity bordering on genius is the order of the pressure. Well I'm off downstairs to get my first cup of coffee ... another new day begins.

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