rose & lilac

Thursday, June 17, 2010


there are some griefs so loud they could bring down the sky
and there are griefs so still no one knows how deep they lie

May Sarton

I received an email last night from Kathie in New York state. She reads our blog, is another of Winnie Dixon's many fans and she has shared her life for many years with a white, shaggy girl who looks very much like Missy D. A girl named Rose. Kathie said her final goodbyes to sweet ol' Rose last week and the Mark Twain poem I posted earlier meant much to her and to her present grief. Reading her email this morning and gazing into Rose's kind eyes made tears come to my own eyes almost instantly.

My own grief lies waiting, always. Still and quiet, much softer now, but returned to me in an instant thinking of Kathie & Rose. Thinking of those early days of grief, when that huge sadness and ache is so fresh and powerful you feel smothered by it. When you still cannot believe that they're gone, the fog of their decline just beginning to lift. When you walk into a room and imagine they might be with you still. That feeling of tightness in your chest, the pain in your heart and the thought that you would give absolutely anything to have them back - if only for a moment, an hour, or just one day - please. So that you could bury your face in their fur one more time, smell their wonderful smell and tell them again how much you love them ...

The biggest and best love that I have ever known.


Sweet Rose, good night dear heart, good night. May you be running now, wild and carefree,
in meadows with Jake and Em, Abby and dear sweet Piper Belle ... and with ...

Mourning never really ends, only as time goes on, it erupts less frequently




  2. how to even think straight, never mind hit a key when my throat feels this constricted.... my eyes so full .....



  3. Blinded by so many tears...I cannot write. Grief and the fact of death would kill me in one day if I did not believe that the green pastures were there and that somehow it IS true that there is a God who does all things well. I can see all the animals I have loved being played with by that smiling Shepherd who is not too holy to throw sticks in the water! No more crippled legs, backs, or cancer.... they are running "as free as the wind blows," TOWARD me just as they did here. And Jake and Em and Miss Piper Belle will see you first because they are watching for you even now!!

  4. ...Martha has said it beautifully..may they run free and happy...and dear Rose, what a beautiful photo you have featured Susan.Sending supportive thoughts to Kathy, who must be so sad.

  5. OK this is the first day since I've started reading you that you haven't posted.

    I am worried.

  6. SUSAN...where are you???? Hope every thing is all right.

  7. Susan....I am checking again.

  8. Anyone who has had a pet to love
    Knows how sad it is to say

    Bless you.

  9. Oh Susan, thank you for this marvelous post... when I scrolled down and saw that you'd included the photo of Rose, I lost it! ...and was also thrilled to have my girl show up in your wonderful blog. I have a 93 year old aunt who is a Catholic nun and she has told me, without reservation, that every animal that we have loved and that has loved us will be waiting for us when we "arrive"...
    thank you again!


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