that darn fork in the road

Monday, July 21, 2008

another 3 x 3 matted print coming up soon in my etsy shop

Monday - I'm thinking Mondays seem to be the very opposite of Sundays. Mondays are the get back in that saddle day, make a big dreamy list of all things that you'd like to accomplish. It's another new chance to become the person you've always wanted to be. That other person who lives inside of you, taking up just a tiny little space. Everything has the potential to magically shift and change and I do believe that. But Sundays - they're for dreaming and relaxing and puttering. Sundays are no agenda kind of days, they're free days, days meant for spending the afternoon lying on a bed under an open window reading a novel and eating cheesies. Carefree ... or as carefree as I'll ever be.

It's still pitch black outside and rain is steadily falling on the leaves of the trees outside my studio window. I stare into the glow of my giant 24" monitor, my big favourite Starbucks mug filled with fresh coffee sits here beside me, and it's another Monday and once again I have two paths in front of me. Always that darn fork in the road.

Why is it so difficult to choose the everything's going to be OK road, the optimistic and hopeful road. In my past when I've taken this route things have often been even better than OK ... I could choose to believe that yet again in my life some big wonderful thing is waiting ahead just around the next corner - another trip to LA or China even, a new exciting customer who loves my work. Where do all those accomplishments go. Lately it feels like this particular road has become my much less traveled path. I keep sticking to the road that I'm so familiar with, the path that I can race down with my eyes closed - I know it so well. It's the path where danger & badness lurk around every corner, Doom & Gloom live down this road in a little house near Ache & Tears. I know in my head that it's all a choice and one I'm thinking about, always, it seems.

Which path to take ? And then once I get myself on that right path ...
how to stay the course.


  1. Um....HELLO?! You do have something big and exciting around the corner...a fabulous achievement...the grand opening of your ETSY store!

    I don't know about you, but I'm already planning my outfit. Although I haven't received my personal invitation, I expect it will arrive in the post any day now - we know how long the mail can take in these parts, don't we. I hope you will be serving some delicious treats to eat. Food really makes a party you know. In any case I expect Bumblevee will bring something to tempt our taste buds. Now, I know you don't like parties, but this is an exception - ok.

    Now get back on that road of fun and fabulousness - youve worn it smooth the amount of times youv'e trekked it. You, I and the universe all know you are comfortable there too.

  2. aaaaccckkk!!! if I don't get to bring goodies after all the time I've spent practising the baking of .... ..well,.... of some pretty yummy things....I am going to be some pissed!!

    Get in that damn saddle and get moving. The biggest thing that is a problem is your age. oops... Yup..sorry to say... it happens to us all. Every year that we get further from 18 ... we tend to get a bit less inclined to just jump in the car and drive off with no destination or no buddy sitting beside us as navigator. I know it well.... all of a sudden I realized I was slower to take off...(well, it seemed all of a sudden to me anyway...but it really wasn't ..the feeling just sorta crept upon me, somehow). Now, I think about the consequences (a lot... too much sometimes) before I make the decision... I sometimes think things to death and uh,...then I don't even do the "thing" that I was thinking would be so much fun or would work well as the next step in my life....

    Ohhh, the lighthouse and water .....!! what a beautiful shot! I bet I could wander around Nova Scotia and actually find "your" beach just from the pics...I'm sure I could! to picci some ... uhm... special things... for my Tea and Scones blog.... before somebody eats them all.

  3. Sue, I'm sorry you're struggling so much in your life and with choices to make. I don't know you very well, yet, but I can tell by reading your blog that you are a VERY beautiful person inside who has so much to offer to the world around you. Yes, new paths can tend to be scary, but ohhh how they bring so many new and beautiful things to one's life.

    Jump into your saddle, hold your head high and ride into the rain coming down...cause your rainbow is JUST on the other side of it.


  4. This is a beautiful post, Susan. And I'm quite agreeing with Pherenike here. YOu have much to look forward to.

    Hang in there. ;)

  5. I can relate. There's always a choice, freedom or fear, paralysis or purpose. It's hard to have faith in the future, easy to tread familiar ground. What's the saying? "If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always have what you've always got." Of course, what you've got looks pretty good to me, to a lot of us. :)
    It seems to me you're making progress, despite your worries and fears, and happiness, like a lot of things, takes practice to get good at. Keep practicing. Hugs and warm thoughts to you, Miss Dixon, Gus, Ver, Lulubelle and big black Bleetness.

  6. "I keep sticking to the road that I'm so familiar with, the path that I can race down with my eyes closed - I know it so well. It's the path where danger & badness lurk around every corner, Doom & Gloom live down this road in a little house near Ache & Tears."

    --We are so often the kings of our worse movies of the mind. We can so easily dream up terrible outcomes as you aptly described here but we so infrequently choose to speak and think goodness, focusing on whatever is good, true, pure, lovely as the NT says. I think it f we did this more we'd beget more fruit form it. I too tend to ponder on the other side of things too much. But your art shows you another side that is fresh, alive and beautiful as do your words and photos.


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