Thursday, May 1, 2008

coffee shop - polaroid circa early 90's

I've been sleeping really well lately. I do still wake up in the middle of the night most nights but my new secret is to not look at the clock by my bed and therefore no OMG it's only 1:10am and I'm wide awake. The second secret, thanks to Eckhart, is to breath deeply and to focus on my breath and I've also thrown in my own little twist - I'm only allowed to think of happy thoughts, memories or dreams while lying awake in the middle of the night (often much easier said than done). I'll think of lying on my bed beside my big red Noodle dog Jake and how his paws always smelled like fresh cut grass with an odd, subtle hint of fried chicken, how I'd lie there beside him and try to breath in sync with his breathing, God how I love that dog, and oh how I miss him. Or I'll think of my golden girl Em and how she loved to flop down in a hayfield, all four legs in the air and grind and scratch her body in the tall grass. I'll think of the progress that I've made, just this past year, of growing my own little creative world and venture and dream of the day when I won't always be worrying about money. In those wee hours of darkness I am trying a little of the power of positive thinking.

I have two projects on the go with my new big fish Chicago company. Had a long phone chat with one of the designers that I'm working with last night. Further direction and next steps moving on to phase two of the project, the technical production drawings. I hung up feeling very satisfied with myself, as it's become crystal clear that they are thrilled with me and my work. Phew ! that's such a relief and now I can hope for a steady stream of projects from them plus I'm also able to dream up my own product ideas and present those potential ideas to them. When I do think of the course that I set for my little Product Design & Illustration business 6 years ago ... I am definitely on course and I am making very good time. Smile. I need to remind myself of that ... way more often.

The weather here this morning is tres shitty. Two (then 3, then 4) lobster boats just raced out of our little harbour on their way out into the Strait to place their traps. The weather seems much worse today, it's windy this morning and raining really hard, yesterday actually turned out to be a much nicer, calmer seas kind of day. Miss Dixon and I will stay home this morning. We normally go out in almost anything, but pouring down sideways rain ... it's not that nice and I have discovered that she's not crazy about getting soaked (especially without her rain gear -wink). So this morning - bubbles and scent, and I'll spend the time I would've been walking cleaning up my very messy desk in preparation for more high gear productivity.

9am update - we did go out after all, the rain did let up a wee bit and one look at that scraggly black & grey expectant face ... with melty heart I put my long waterproof coat on, baseball cap (to keep rain off my glasses), fleece headband and fleece mitts ... and Miss Winnie and I had a great walk in stormy rainy-ness. Smile. I love her !


  1. Nice to hear your little business is right on track. It doesn't surprise me a bit. :)

  2. I wish we would get some of your rain down here in the Rockies. Colorado as a whole and southern Colorado where I am even more so is just as dry as a bone. For two days the wind has been blowing at gale force. Those two conditions make us so vulnerable to fire. And since I live smack dab in the middle of the mountains it causes me anxiety. Of course, I try not to focus on or think about FIRE too much (the law of attraction, you know). Ha

    Anyway your rainy walk with Winnie, you all bundled up against the elements, sounded appealing today.

  3. "When I do think of the course that I set for my little Product Design & Illustration business 6 years ago ... I am definitely on course and I am making very good time. Smile. I need to remind myself of that ... way more often."

    --Perfect! Congrats. I find your process interesting as i want to start up a side creative venture and your posts give me that extra nudge.

    BTw, Anya, I live in CO too and up here it's expected to snow or rain at least 1/4" today and then again tomorrow! Far too windy and blustery for my liking, but hey, I'd take that over hot middle August weather any day!!

  4. I like the rain, but not so much when it stings your exposed bits. Glad to hear things are on track with your business, and that you're conquering your bad night thoughts. It sounds like a good spring for you.

  5. Now ... you all realize I hope that there will be another emotional plummet ... it could be at any moment... because far be it from me to stay up and cheery and positive or even just neutral for any great length of time. Sigh.

    As I said to MLou on the phone today (after discovering that yet another simple occurrence that I had turned into a horrible incident wasn't a bad thing after all but actually a very nice thing - once again totally wrong, totally paranoid - the story of my life) from now on what ever I am thinking I must quickly think the exact opposite or better still shut the thinking down all together. Breathe and think of Eckhart.

    I'm just saying that I do hope you realize that the up and down screaming roller coaster of emotions is the ultimate theme of this blog. Things look good today. Phew. Wink.


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