in love

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Jake & Susan

To some it may seem strange, I always did say that I was in love with my dog. And it's true - I was, I am ... I always will be.

some things that made me smile yesterday written at 7pm last evening

a telephone call out of the blue, from Marie in California, an artist friend from long ago who reads my blog and knew sweet Jake when he was just a youngin’ and she knew how devastated I must be and how sad I must be feeling. Instead of sadness & tears we had a happy, funny, busy, soaring, creative & inspiring chat ... just as if I’d seen her yesterday. She is a whirling sprite of good and bright and glee ... she is orange and bright pink and red ... and she completely made my day.

lying curled up on a large dog bed staring into the fire and drinking orange pekoe tea

picking up a condolence card at the post office addressed to both Susan & Winnie Dixon Black from our good friend Carol and her husband Gary, who knew and loved Jake. It made Winnie smile too

abandoning my customary defensive stance, I chose instead to walk away from the beginnings of a difficult familial conversation and situation, that inevitably would feel nothing but wearying, futile and hurtful. I smiled, surprised at strength I didn't know I had.

a best girl friend and I, through all of this recent sadness, have begun to say I love you when we talk on the phone, after all these years. It makes me smile to be so unabashedly honest with someone who I really do love. We human beings can be so uptight. Say it once, and I guarantee it will magically flit from your lips every chance that you get.

eating a toasted sesame bagel with butter & honey

I smiled, then cried, but good tears of gratefulness, as I gathering up all the bits of kindness and love that continued to arrive here at 29 Black Street yesterday by a variety of means. Across wires, and through waves, on paper and in thoughts. Jake smiled too, I know he did.

stopping to look out an upstairs window after dark last night and watching big snow removal tractors prowling the streets like giant beetles.


  1. good morning glad you had a wonderful day .....

    It's pretty obvious that you have touched a lot of hearts and so have your furry companions. When I talk about Jake...even I call him Jakey...which is pretty darn noodle-y of me... lol.....

  2. My heart breaks for you. I lost the best man I ever had when my Golden, Nick, passed away five years ago from a brain tumor at age 10. I was so devastated, I drove him around in the back of my Avalanche for 2 whole days until friends suggested I hve him cremated. It was cold and the ground was frozen and I didnt dare want the vet to dispose of him. He has been with me ever since. There are no two dogs the same and I know your loss is so deep and so personal.
    You are in my prayers for healing of your pain.
    I heard about your loss via Vee's blog.

  3. Dear Susan...words cannot express the sadness that fell over me as I read your blog this morning..I had only found it following my daily perusal of Etsy, on 1/21...feeling a strange sense of recognition from somewhere unknown..I went on to read your blog..only to find that you had a lovely Golden, like myself..mine being a silly beast at not quite 2 yet, Chauncey. I quickly found you live in the Land of my Father's birth..He was born near Glace Bay, moving down to Ontario at the age of 3 in 1929. My Grandmother went back to the home she was born in in the late 80's, only to find the Lobster pot in the backyard was still there! She grew up in a small fishing village and missed it so, and at the age of 89 went back to visit.
    I hand't logged back on till this morning, having bookmarked your Blog in my "Favorites"..only to find all of these lovely photo's of Jake posted. My heart fell..I knew something must have happened, and not just a "spell". I truly hope you find peace soon and have lovely dreams of the Noodle dog, once again!


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