Thursday, January 31, 2008

my handsome red dog, my comfort, my love

Do not weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die ....


Grief is such a strange thing. It ebbs and it flows, it fools you, it hides or it seems like it's gone, just a tiny speck on the horizon, things feels better, things are going to be OK. I catch myself laughing, smiling, even forgetting about it for a time ...maybe it's gone and then I wake at 3:47 and it's right there, back again, breathing it's hot stinky breath in my face and I can't believe any of this ... this can't be true, it's a very bad dream that I've just woken up to.

Funeral Blues the last two verses

He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-- W. H. Auden

big ol' sweet, goofy beach bum


  1. My heart is with you Susan. Grief is such a tricky thing, it recedes a bit and you can breathe, you think, I'll be okay, I can handle this, then it just sneaks up and wallops you again. If I were there, I'd give you many hugs and listen empathetically. Take care of yourself, and have faith.

  2. Hey Susan....

    honestly, it will get better.. well, a bit anyway. will also take time. Just try to keep inching forward ever so slightly or try to do something enjoyable during the short periods when it doesn't hurt quite as much.

    give Miss Winnie and the cats a hug for us.....

    Oh, and guess what? I got my lovely little sea glass packet. I found the perfect little container for it as well. I will post about it tomorrow cuz I took some pix... Thanks again for my lovely little bit of your ocean.


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