Sunday, March 30, 2008

Le Vasque Fleurie Kees van Dongan 1917

Tiny goals accomplished = enormous satisfaction. While watching my favourite cooking shows on PBS yesterday afternoon I went through (first go around) 3 shoe boxes of photos and cards and memorabilia. Piles of pet photos now lovingly collected in one book, a gorgeous leather Umbra album that I've had forever ... waiting empty, for just this time.

Especially the pictures of my sweet boy Jake's life ... finally tucked away and protected. Page after page of bursting love. I had know idea how it would make me feel to turn these pages now filled with images of our life, how honouring these memories with ritual and care makes me feel safe and secure and happy. How it helps so much with my sadness & missing.

All the postcards and cards that I've purchased on my travels over the years (many, many) collected now in one place. Such a simple thing ... that gives me such big pleasure. To think now if I need or want to send a card I know just where to look.

Bad photos, blurry photos and photos that mean nothing thrown away, no longer taking up valuable cherished space. And a few photos and letters ceremoniously and dramatically ripped up into little pieces first ... ahhh, that felt so good.

I'm not finished with this project, I want to send images from my iphoto archives to the Walmart photo center so that I have hard copy snapshots of my favourite digital images ... and there are so many. And all my beloved polaroids from over the many years will be gathered in another album.

Yesterday I also made corn chowder, I took a zillion photos of giant skies and beautiful stormy clouds, I walked in sunshine with my gal pal Miss Dixon, and I filled the clothesline with sheets and pillowcases and duvets. And at 8pm I turned off the lights, participating in Earth Hour, and read more Eckhart Tolle by candlelight, madly highlighting most all words with my lime green highlighter. I'm currently grappling with and completely mesmerised by his concept of Pain-Body. A tight ball of accumulated historic hurt and sadness that we all cart around inside us to varying degrees. I'm realizing that Jake, his goofy, easy going and demanding self, was often a buffer between me and my own pain body. Now it's just Miss Dixon and me, each with our own lumps of pain bodies dragging along with us, as we walk through pastures and along the icy shore.

and today is Sunday ... the best day, and the favourite day.

1 comment:

  1. I have shoe boxes of ephemera, saved over the years that I need to sort through. It's a pleasant project. I picked up some lovely Cavallini file folders, pick with wonderful green birds, for sorting. (thanks for the great tip on Cavallini)

    I love corn chower!! Sounds yummy!


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