Wednesday, October 22, 2008

autumn collections No.2 brown and No. 1

I do feel a little less sad today. It really does help to talk about it here on my blog. As soon as I've posted I feel better. I feel a big release. Phew ! that's off my chest. This has become my community and it's so good to talk things out and I do appreciate hearing how you feel about sadness, how you deal with it and that it does affects you too. That you understand and can relate. Heidi at Emergence Journey left a comment very early in the day that made me feel very OK about speaking the truth. My truth. It's so hard for me not to - remember heart-on-sleeve girl lives here (camped out most of the time under a dark cloud).

I talked to MLou yesterday and she reminded me (again) of how much time I spend alone, just me and my thoughts here at the teak topped desk day after day. A drawback, you could say, of being self employed (my co-workers don't talk much, although they do give me loads of comfort in their silent fashion). And oh the trips and wild adventures those thoughts can, and do, go on. Left by themselves, no supervision, no discussion or alternate opinions, suggestions, or other perspectives they often go wild - those thoughts. Or just participating in the banal everyday office chit chat that can take the sharp edge of Sadness - a great recipe tried the night before for supper, a funny incident or a joke. I know you know what I'm talking about. Sadness is very familiar to me, it's much like an old friend. An emotion that I'm strangely comforted by because I do know it so well. It just seems to love hangin' out with me and I'll admit there are many times I do encourage it. Come on in, sit down ... I'll put the kettle on.

Windy, cool, and rain in the forecast today. Lots of paying work on the teak topped desk. A busy drawing day today. A perfect snug and cozy day ahead of me ensconced in my little second floor studio, a shaggy black dog sleeping on her bed at my feet and a soft calico cat staring at me through half closed eyes. Sigh. After a bath with lavender and bubbles and a long windy walk on sandbars with fleece mittens and headband with my best girl Winnie Dixon.

I taped Oprah and watched it last night with my dinner and saw an amazing interview with Jill Bolte Taylor a brain scientist who at 37 suffered a massive stroke and has since written a book about her experience and from a brain scientist's perspective - My Stroke of Insight. Totally fascinating. I immediately ordered the book from my library and I will spend part of today, while drawing here at the teak topped desk, listening to her 4 part interview with Oprah on Oprah's Soul Series. You can also watch these interviews - scroll down and click on download.


  1. I think a safe space to speak our truth is the reason a lot of us are here in the blog world. And I think that as each of us speaks our truth, we open the way for more people to be able to do so. And as we all recognize parts of our own inner selves in others' brave expressions of their truth, this life journey becomes a little bit lighter.

  2. I'm happy you are feeling a little more at peace today. It is such a blessing that you have Mlou. I know it is a roller coaster for you as it often is for me. At times, just keeping ones head above the surface takes everything. Absolutely everything. Spending so much time alone does give your wild thoughts free reign, I am that way too. If I had not had Katy through this ordeal, I do not know what despair I would have found left entirely to my own devices and voices. I know the roll Katy plays in my life is the same that Jake played in yours. But...we must forge ahead and all that. Thank god for blogs. I wonder if you know what inspiration your honest, thoughtful blog is to us all?

  3. I just found your blog while surfing and wanted to say how much I enjoyed scrolling through your photos ! You are a fantastic photographer. I live in HRM and can appreciate the beauty we have here in Nova Scotia.

    Blessing to you for sharing our little part of the world through pictures and your openess. I hope this time of sadness passes soon .

  4. It's been a very busy, non-stop drawing day at the teak topped desk. It's 7pm and I am beginning to fade. Just wanted to say thanks, yet again for such kind and supportive comments. Blogging has really changed my life and in only amazing & great ways. One of which is getting know so many brilliant, and strong women. Thanks again. Love, Susan (Winnie Dixon, Nessie, Oliver & Mr. Mr.)

  5. Good evening, Susan. I'm glad you are feeling less blue today. Say..I caught that interview on was amazing!! Dr. Oz was saying she was basically a rare case to recover as well as she did. But her story...her perserverence to get better was so inspiring!!


  6. I know what you mean and am glad you are a heart on your sleeve kind of gal. We love that about you and this blog.


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