Friday, December 26, 2008

frida kahlo angel

beautiful gouache paintings from chickory - her etsy shop and blog

Brrrrrr. It's cold again and windy. Miss D and I will have to bundle up this early morning. I must say I'm relieved to wake up this morning and know that that day has passed yet again. That day of heaped up expectations, still piled high from many long ago and lingering Christmas' past. That single loaded day, the first spent in many, many years without my big red dog - my comfort & joy. How can it be that nearly a year has passed without him ? Boxing day to me has always meant that we made it, another year - through and past that big day of potential disappointments, lonely feelings and sadness all thrust upon us (I realize) by clinging dreamy, make believe expectations. Phew ! I say. We made it.


I need a change. A big change. And I'm afraid to change. Change is hard. Easy would be to stay exactly where I am, continue on allowing the same old struggles to keep weighing me down. Those struggles have become like familiar friends ... it's hard to imagine my life without them ? But ... I've also never really been a big fan of Easy. Sigh.

Another fine line in life, I'm learning, is to walk on the wire between living in this very moment and of dreaming & scheming a bright new future.

happy giraffe garden


  1. How did you get inside my head? You have expressed my feelings about Christmas exactly!

    Cherish your memories of your big red dog...

    My boxing day tradition is to transform the turkey carcass into a golden pot of simmering goodness with homemade egg noodles and slivers of veggies. I'll save you a bowl to warm you up after your walk with Miss D.

  2. Life is the most difficult for dreamers, I think.

    I recently lost the horse I got when I was 19. He was 27, and I always called him my "big puppy dog" because he was just that gentle and loyal. He was also red; so, like you, I may just have to think of him as my big red dog.

  3. Susan, I know what you mean about Christmas. When I was a child it felt magical. I had visions of sugar plums in my head and felt like anything was possible. As an adult it seems more like just another day. It's nice, but no longer magical.
    I am terrified of change, too. I can't believe I had the courage to leave the home I loved and all my friends in Philadelphia to move here to Kentucky. The change was hard, and it's taken me three years to begin to feel at home.

  4. thank you for your kind note. (this is chickory posting from my other blog) i dont know if you happened to read the post on the loss of my eva dog (when the last leaf drops) but i feel you over the red dog. i am so sorry. the dogs you do have are beautiful.

    i think there is apprehension in the air and it is correct. trust your instincts and embrace change that is change for a more authentic life experience. one of the problems with christmas is the loaded you wrote about. i returned to magic by fixing trees with treats for the birds, making friends with the flying squirrel in my barn, and really noticing the beauty of the living world.

    my change for 2009 is to grow a vegetable garden. i want to sort of transition from the city artist to the country lady with a bounty of "real"

    i know you know what i mean.

    happy boxing day and good to meet you!


  5. I love that artist...the Frida angel is wonderful.

    I'm kind of like you....I'm glad the holiday season is finally over. The long stretch of January, February and March...the coldest, snowiest time here is delightfully void of any "formal" events and I love that. It seems like from September till the end of December, the specter of the impending holidays looms over everything and colors the mood of those months. Honestly, if it weren't for Katy I would have done things so much differently this year. Max and I are both talking about how to make up a new, simpler kind of Christmas for ourselves.

  6. I guess that's why Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, not a lot of expectations, and you can be silly and fun.
    And I know what you mean about change; it's daunting, but necessary.

  7. Thank you for an introduction to such interesting artists Susan. I do believe I see an Australian thylacine (Tasmanian Tiger) under that giraffe in one of the paintings.This creature is now extinct.Speaking of creatures, I hope yours continue to enjoy your warmth, generosity and care all through the holiday season, and show it with tail-wagging appreciation and the softest of purrs. Much love.

  8. Ok..this is crazy...I blogged about change today, too! =O

    Say...did anyone ever tell you that you resemble Sagourney Weaver? :) You both are VERY beautiful...inside and out.

    Much love to you and the furry gang! xo

  9. I didn't manage to make it this year...... unscathed that is. So glad you did .....

    hugs, V.

  10. "Another fine line in life, I'm learning, is to walk on the wire between living in this very moment and of dreaming & scheming a bright new future."

    --I love that ...and the colourful pics.

    Happy Boxing Da!

  11. Change, even when it's good, can be hard. It isn't what we know and sometimes it's easiest to stick with what we know. I hope you find your way.


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